{-Liz-} (sugar735) wrote in xrazorxkissesx,

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Hey everyone. Here's my introduction post.

I'm 15 years old, 16 in december. I've been cutting since I was 12. They used to be small cuts on my arm, but when I was 13, I ended up getting my first scar on my arm.
When I got in huge trouble with my mother, I cut below my wrist and didnt feel anything, which scared me, so I cut more. Before then, none of my cuts have ever bled, but these did. I ended up getting13 cuts and now, 5 scars, 2 very prominet ones. No one has noticed them.
My past few cuts have ended up underneith my bracelettes on my wrist.
I want to tell my mother, but she aways tells me I do things like 'be depressed' to get attention. Also while watching Oprah she's like "oh, are you going to start cutting urself too?" because I came out of my room ready to tell her.
Now I know I cant, she'll just have to find out herself.
I have been to a trauma center before for anxiety attacks and GAD, which my mother doesnt believe I have. I told the lady I cut, but I had my mother step behinde the curtain. I wish I didnt. I regret that every day of my life. that i didnt let her hear.
Either way, I dont think she'll ever know. And I'm too afraid to tell her.
I hate cutting. I hate it. But it's the only thing that makes me feel normal again. It's the only thing that helps.

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